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My husband and I live separately and my children (20 and 16) live alternately with me and their father.
We had agreed on which days they would be with whom during the holidays.
Now, like many times before, their father hasn't kept to this, instead inviting them to activities on the days when they should actually be with me, coming home late again and again, etc.

It has been like this for 3 years and I have always put on a good face because I avoid arguing with him. He is extremely stubborn and unreflective. If I say something, I get no answer or a flippant reply in front of my head.

But I've now had enough at Christmas and I've told my daughters that I can't go on like this. That the time with them is important to me, that I will demand that their father keeps his agreements and that I want them to help me remember this when he plans something with them on one of “my” days.

My throat started to hurt minutes after that was said. I started coughing the day after (12/27). The cough still persists today (12/30). I am sure that this is the solution to the conflict that has been going on for years about the non-compliance with the childcare times, as I finally resisted.
Kind regards, Barbaran, ...

Note from Björn Eybl
Thank you Barbara for the interesting report. I'm glad you said what was needed. Here is the description of the conflict from my book, chapter on the larynx:

Speechlessness conflict You don't dare say something: “I can't find the words!” “The words are stuck in my throat.” Or you can't shout loud enough (e.g. teacher, soccer coach). Fright anxiety conflict (larynx as a whole): You get scared because of a sudden danger. “Being scared to death.” “Being rigid and mute.”

It is interesting to see how quickly your body reacts to the mental impulse.